Take Flight
by something-wild-cat
Summary: "There's no question that I'm the one who would never, ever admit that out of all of us, I'm the one who wants to reach out and touch the stars the most. Even if I don't know how to do it." ―- Hikari knows what it's like to have a wish not come true. It's nice to dream though. -― [Ressha Sentai ToQger, set after Station 36] One Shot.


_Okay, so I'm not a big fan of writing fanfiction in first person. Mostly because, for some reason, if the character isn't fully mine, I have a hard time getting enough inside that character's head to use first person. And yet, for some reason, Hikari's first-person voice came so easily to me I had to keep making sure I was writing this piece through Hikari's mind and not mine. As a result it turned into a stream of consciousness rather than what I typically come up with for fanfiction._

 _If you end up favoriting this story, if you could also leave a review along with it, that would be much appreciated!_

 _Anyway, I honestly don't have much else to say. The train is now departing; please wait behind the white line. Shuppatsu shinko!_

 _Disclaimer: If I own Super Sentai one day, I'll be sure to tell you guys, okay? Because I don't right now._

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 **TAKE FLIGHT**

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 _Kira, kira, hikaru  
_ _Osorano hoshiyo  
_ _Mabataki shite wa  
_ _Minna o miteru  
_ _Kira, kira, hikaru  
_ _Osorano hoshiyo_

* * *

 _Just having a dream is worth 100 points._

That was what Sakura-sensei told me. That was what I told her. It seemed to work. She got her dream back, and although the first reason I was there - to find information about Subarugahama - had been completely driven into the dust, I was happy as I watched her stride eagerly into class.

And yet I was sad.

Thinking back, when Sakura-sensei and I had had our very first conversation, in the empty classroom where I had been playing with my kendama, I barely said anything to her. I don't talk much and I know that, and there's always things left unsaid. For me, that's a lot of things. To Akira, to Kagura, to Mio, to Tokatti, to Right. To Sakura-sensei. During our first conversation, after the project where we described our dreams, I asked her what her dream was. Maybe it was too forward of me. Maybe it wasn't my place to ask. But she answered me anyway: she wanted to teach students and give them perfect 100's for their dreams.

But even before that, when she saw me playing with my kendama, is the part I regret not saying to her. She asked me what my dream was. In response I asked her what hers was. It took me a while to remember the full conversation, to remember what the conversation had turned into after she told me.

We had never drifted back to the topic of what my dream was.

What is my dream? I'm not sure even now.

 _I want to become stronger_ was what I had written on my paper lantern, the one that I had hung between Mio's and Kagura's on the night of the stargazing festival.

Well, what the hell is that supposed to mean? Strength. Everyone seems to have it. Right and Kagura and Tokatti and Mio - they all possess Imagination far greater than mine, despite what Ticket and his mini-golf test would say. Mio and Right - they have their skill in fighting too, and combined with their Imaginations, they're never going to lose. Kagura and Tokatti have their own advantages too; they can see the Victorious Imagination so easily, and once they have that they can take down a Shadow kaijin as easily as Mio and Right.

Which leaves me. Hikari.

The logical one, the anchor that keeps Right and the others from flying away when they get so wrapped up in our mission they forget why it's our mission in the first place. The one who relies on force and grounded knowledge, and the one who never says, "I can see it! The Victorious Imagination!" by himself. The one who clashes with Right simply because he doesn't think things through, because that's just who Right is. It makes me wonder why I'm here sometimes.

It was a wish, though. _I want to become stronger_ should be considered a wish, not a dream. The others have their dreams. They have their Imaginations. What do I have? I couldn't even beat Right in a duel without Imagination, the one that I asked our Sensei to have.

The others tell me I'm strong. "Hikari, you're strong," they say. I'll agree for the sake of agreeing. And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get stronger. My Imagination only got stronger once: when I used the Hyper Ressha for the first time; I could feel it happening; I could feel the power surging through me. And I've never felt that way again; it always took so much effort for me to power the Hyper Ressha. According to the others, the time we were fighting Mannenhitsu Shadow and I used the Hyper Ressha, I made it look effortless. The truth is that by the time we were in ToQ Rainbow I could barely stay morphed, the Hyper Ressha had taken that much energy out of me.

It makes me wonder why I'm here all the more, if I can barely use the Hyper Ressha when Right and the others can use it so easily.

It makes me wonder why I can still resist the darkness as well as they can.

If Sakura-sensei asked me today what my dream is, I wouldn't know how to respond. My first response might be that I want to return to Subarugahama, because I'm homesick. Or it might be that I want to defeat the Shadow Line. But those are all short-term goals, and ones that all five of us have at that. Not dreams. Goals. They'll be completed eventually. I've never been one to look too forward to the future; that's Right's job. And yet I know I have to have a dream.

Dreams, dreams... I can't even decide what constitutes as a dream. There is a difference between a wish and a dream, after all. I can't control my dreams.

Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares. I don't know exactly why; the dreams I always have when that happens are dark, blurry. Hard to make out. Sometimes I think I see the the roots of our secret base before being engulfed in darkness. That would be what makes me forget what else happened in the dreams: the darkness. I know what actually happened when the others and I were swallowed by the darkness the first time; I know I wasn't alone. It doesn't change the fact that being in darkness scares me. Being alone in darkness is what terrifies me. It hurts.

I don't know how I kept it all in when Gritta hit the Ressha with her Darkness Fall. That was the closest I've ever been to feeling hopeless. Just hanging there, hovering in endless darkness... Sure, part of it was seeing our town - my town - covered in darkness all over again, but mostly, it was the darkness itself. Just being in it. Not being able to reach out and find someone's hand, just falling slowly, endlessly. It's the only time I really almost cried.

I think, in reality, all five of us are afraid of the dark, even if we continue to run headfirst into it every time. Even if we face it head on, we're still just kids growing up. We have our fears, and we have our dreams too. And while I don't know what Akira thinks, I know he has his dreams too.

I still don't know what my dream is, though.

Long ago, someone told me to make a wish upon a star. He told me I could be everything I wanted to be if I wished hard enough. It's one of those things I never told the others either. I suppose I will eventually, but it doesn't seem like anything that will help us find Subarugahama. It was one of the first memories outside of my friendship with the others that I recovered, but several months later, despite remembering our life in Subarugahama, I still have no idea who said it or why it was said. I have a feeling I'd forgotten even before I'd lost my memories the first time.

My wish upon a star hasn't come true yet. I barely even remember making it, although I remember what it is as if I made it yesterday. How could I forget it?

 _I want to become stronger._

I was so stuck on that wish. I guess if I think about it, I still am. Every night since becoming a part of the Rainbow Line, even before I knew why, I'd spend a long while just staring out a window at the stars. Sometimes, to myself, I would blame staying up late on being scared of those nightmares, but no. It was because I was, subconsciously, asking the stars every night why I was here. Why my wish wasn't granted yet.

Why didn't I just wish that all the darkness would go away?

After quite a bit of thought, I think I know why.

I'm here, a part of the Rainbow Line, to become stronger. I have weaknesses that I'll never get over, but I can at least make my strong points stronger in the time before we defeat the Shadow Line. And I have the feeling that the others are the same.

If Kagura is the one who is okay with showing who she is, I'm the one who will never show what I'm truly thinking. If Mio is the one who can suppress her Imagination, I'm the one who can suppress my dreams. If Tokatti is the one who wants me to keep a secret, I'm the one who holds two for every one he gives me. If Right is the one who shouts his dreams from the top of the world, I'm the one who hopes silently that soon, we'll just be able to go home.

And there's no question that I'm the one who would never, ever admit that out of all of us, I'm the one who wants to reach out and touch the stars the most. Even if I don't know how to do it.

I'm never going to forget that.

We all have our hopes and wishes and dreams for when we're done travelling on the Rainbow Line. Even if they're short-term, even if they seem like they won't last too far into the future. Like mine. Because having long-term dreams is Right's job.

This is my wish upon a star.

I want to become stronger. I want to reach out and touch the stars. I want to defeat the darkness and go home. If that means growing up, and not being able to return to being a child, then that's the way it'll be. As Right said, when my mother doesn't recognise me, I'll cry. But eventually I'll move on. I'll still have my dream.

I want to become stronger. Maybe it's not just a wish. Maybe it does count as a dream. And a long term one at that.


End file.
